I guess God is trying to help me from leading a miserable life. That's why He's putting a stop to every relationships i once had. From that 2 years 5 months tragedy. And to the recent one. Maybe, just maybe, He had enough of seeing me suffering so much.
I can't deny that having a single life is such a rejuvenating experience. Afterall the shits that had happened, my mind becomes much more relax now. I don't have to worry about a lot of things. No doubt that the heart is still yearning for someone's love. No doubt that the feeling of loneliness is still there. But, so what? Doesn't mean i lost someone, it's the end of the world. I still have a lot of things to pursue in the future. And i'm gonna get myself busy with that.
I have somehow, "plan" my own future. And i don't want that future to be destroyed by these temporary feelings of mine. I know i can get over it. And so i will.
So, right now, my heart is not open for anybody out there who is/might be waiting for me. I'm sorry but it's not the right time yet. The day will happen when my feelings say so. Remember, God is the only who plans. Not us. We're only born to make decisions.
I've learnt my lessons from these 2 experiences. If you did nothing wrong that causes your life to end up this way, don't take the blame. Learn how to love yourself and appreciate who you are. Parts and parcels of life is what we always go through each and everyday. Fate is what we only have to accept in this life until we're no longer existed in the world anymore. If you've been ill-treated by someone, don't worry. They will always get their retribution one day. It may not be in this world, but it's a definite yes in the afterlife. That's when 'live life to the fullest' comes in. Just remember that.
