Can't believe i'm going back to school tomorrow.
I thought it'll take ages for that 1 week to be over.
But i'm actually glad though. Not because boredom is finally over.
It's because i'm able to see my friends again.
Yes. I've not been able to hangout with them lately.
Well, ever since my freedom is taken away.
By who? There's no need for you to know.
Definitely not my parents though. (:
Oh well. I don't know where's my life heading to.
One moment, everything will be smooth, fine and calm.
The next moment, it will be like as though hell break loose.
I'm trying very hard to stand on the ground at my own two feet.
Although i already know that sooner or later i will be tripped over.
*sigh* I wish i was immune to all that has been happening lately.
But i can't. I just couldn't. It's affecting me greatly.
And this morning, just a few hours before i met him.
We argued again. Over small little things.
I don't know when will this kind of argument stops.
But it's truely childish from my point of view.
I don't wish to elaborate furthur.
Words spoken and the assumptions made by him have pricked my heart.
"it's clear cut that you don't have the interest in meeting me at all.."
"is this what you call a girlfriend? a sayang?.."
"you're so ignorant.."
"those tears the other day.. they're just crocodile tears!"
I wonder what other mean stuffs he would say next.
Just so you know, Mr Buzzer.
I'm not like any of your exes.
Don't ever compare me between them.
Just because we're girls, doesn't mean we do things and think alike.
I'm way different from any of them.
And you don't deserve any apology from me, from that argument we had.
I had enough of giving in to you the whole time.
But that still doesn't affect the love i'm carrying for you.
As much as you have hopes on me, it still goes the same for you.
I'm really praying hard that you'll change for the better.
The only problem is that, i don't know how long i can endure it.
Because honestly, i'm tired of being the man.
Until i have to double hurt your feelings after you hurt mine.
Well, it's a fair game.
You don't treat me nicely, i won't be nice to you.
I just don't want your ngada-ngada to be beyond control.
Which explains why i'm not giving in but being harsh and mean instead.
Somehow, this has to be stopped.
I can't live under one roof with you being like this.
It's killing me. Literally.
And all these while, i wasn't being ignorant.
Deep down inside me you wouldn't know how much i care for you.
I've been crying inside my heart to figure out why.
Why do you have to treat me this way till i have to hurt you?
But the answer will always relate back to your past.
And i don't even know how to help you with that.
Because your past is affecting the present, our future.
You still have that fear of history to be repeated itself again.
But, our fate is already written. If it happens, happens.
So, what is left to fear?
I hope someday you will wake up and realise the mistakes you've done.
I'm not good at verbalising. Sometimes, i really wish you were a mind reader and able to view my point.
